If you've managed to get here, it means you either know what we're up to, stumbled across this webpage at the bottom of AVH's legalese, or are about to bust us. Either way, keep it on the down low.

What is this?

You wanna check a board? Send an email? Cybersex a stranger? You're in luck. Apple Valley High is the only school in our district with a non-guarded computer lab, and I'm the only night-shift custodian they keep on staff.

How does this work?

I work from 5:00pm to 9:00am. From 8:00 to 8:30pm I take the trash out to the dumpster, through the door on the east wing. The computer room also happens to be in the east wing, the third door on the left. If I have to explain this any further for you, don't show up.

Ground Rules


The door is open from 8:00 to 8:30. If you're early? You can wait. If you're late? Come back tomorrow You're out the door by 5:00am or you're gone for good. We don't run on weekends, late-night school events, and football games. Check the calendar.


I'm not here to change the world, or prop up any actionable anti- goverment crusade. If you are, keep that shit to yourself. If I notice that you're making any type of identifiable waves, digital or otherwise, you're out. Do what you want, but keep it discrete. Full stop.


It's 50 dollars per night. If you can't pay, don't show up.


We have a couple regulars. If you want more information, figure out a way to ask them. At least, their sites are prettier.

Thanks to Ziggy for helping me set up this website. If you can figure out how to get rid of the stupid background he gave it, let me know.

Return home